Topher Hates: Snobby Non-Gamers

snobbyMost gamers have been there, seen the looks these assholes can give, felt the discontent they deliver, and heard the drivel they can spew.  The snobby non-gamers think themselves better, more mature, more sophisticated, and more interesting.  I am starting to think they have no idea how fucking awesome I AM!  I really don’t give you shits about what you think, what you say, or exactly how you view my fucking life.  I have heard it all….”do you even go outside?” I’ve been asked, by my former boss.  “Well, yes, I do, I have to go to the mailbox to get my next game, ass wipe.”  I think I know why you’re “no longer with the company.”  The way I look at it, you do what you do, and I’ll do what I do.

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Almost everyone has at least one hobby; from fly fishing, collecting guns, jumping out of airplanes, watching t.v., to chronic masturbation.  While one of those things sound fun, most are completely meaningless to me.  Fly Fishing is basically jerking off, without the good part, collecting guns is a waste of money that could be spent on awesome things, like the udraw,  and watching t.v. amounts to playing video games, without the control and good stories.  I don’t understand, how is it that playing video games is a waste of time, but watching Jersey Shore while stroking it to Snooki isn’t?  For fucks sake, I haven’t watched t.v. in 5 years because the writing is atrocious.  Give me one of these snobs, and Uncharted 2, and I’ll make gamers out of them yet.

The last thing that gets my scrotum in a rubber band is when some of these assholes question my ability to parent.  I’ve known a guy for awhile, and became friends with him on Xbox, only to have him pass his  gamer card  off to his son.  One day he went sideways on me, saying “how can you be a good parent and play games constantly?”  “Look eat it dickpencil-dick, I don’t play constantly,” I replied, “you might want to go into your son’s room at 2:30am, on a school night, and find out why he’s playing C.O.D.”  Yeah, fuck you asshole.  I am an awesome parent, I actually have something to talk about to my 16 year old son, how many parents can say that?  For me, being a gamer has given avenues to discussion to me and my three kids, and I’m grateful.  The bottom line is, people will do whatever they want to do, you choose to eat dog shit and spew venom, I choose the high road and tell you to fuck off.

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One Response to Topher Hates: Snobby Non-Gamers

  1. rustynova says:

    I have a sudden urge to jump out of an airplane shooting a gun. Then go fly fishing when I land. Go home an watch it while I masturbate.

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