Hello all, for those of you who don’t know me, I’m Topher, and quite possibly the oldest gamer you know. I am 37 years old, a father of three teenagers and an avid Gamer. In this week’s Top 5, I am going to relive some of my childhood memories when it comes to Video Games, which should illustrate how far games have come. So please, grab me some Geritol, sit back, and let the old man speak.
5. Lakers Vs. Celtics and the NBA Playoffs 1991 Sega Genesis
Oh my god. I literally just stopped everything I was doing and watched that video to the bitter fucking end. I was 13 when this Video Game came out on the Sega Genesis, and I can remember, vividly playing the entire seasons out, all the while maintaining on of those old composition books, with the entire season’s stats being maintained free hand style. I kept track of points, rebounds, blocked shots, free throws, and field goal/free throws/3 point percentages. Now, 22 years later, I still have a stack of composition books by my Xbox/PS3/WiiU Gaming station, to track all my stuff, still.
4. R.B.I Baseball NES 1987
Just look at it, I remember the white Reggie Jackson stepping into the batter’s box for the Angels, and thinking, isn’t he black? Well, apparently not, because R.B.I. Baseball had him, Darryl Strawberry, Mookie Wilson, and every other player we grew up thinking were black, as white men. Who’s to argue with that? Actually, you can tell this game is from a different time, I honestly never noticed that the players weren’t the right color, or the horrible lanes the outfielders took to the ball, all I knew, is that I was playing baseball. I was completely immersed in the game. Nowadays, this game would have never been released. Wrong race on ball players? NOPE! Kieth Hernandez’s mustache isn’t rich and full enough? FAIL! Lenny Dykstra without a mouth and beard full of chewing tobacco? FUCK OFF! Anyways, the background music of this Game is a running theme song for my formative years, I used to love playing as the Houston Astros, because my Padres were’nt in the game, and I would play for hours, much to the chagrin of my Mother. She still, to this day, can remember the old refrain, dum dum da dum dum, da dum dum da dum dum…..
3. Sonic The Hedgehog Sega Genesis 1991
It is probably because, growing up, I only had 2 or 3 Video Games, but I can remember doing the first level in the game, probably, a thousand times. I would go over to a friends house, and watch him play, just to make sure I knew all the shortcuts, all the secret areas. When he was done, he’d watch me for the same reason. Gaming was different then, you got a game or two, then you played the ever loving shit out of them. My kids; SPOILED, I would have loved to grow up with hundreds of games at my disposal.
2. Super Mario Bros. NES 1985
Yes, I am waiting for a shitstorm. I loved Super Mario Bros. as a kid, it just isn’t my number 1 game, growing up. For that, you’ll have to read on, for now we’re talking about Mario. Yes, I loved Mario, but I have a theory about his whore Peach. She obviously likes getting captured, and most good girls love bad boys. That’s why I am such an asshole, a Bowser, if you will, it’s because the good girls will run away from you, and get their Beta-assed boyfriends to go to the seventh layer of hell to get them back. All the while, I’m hitting it Bowser style, in my castle. Just a theory, yo!
1. Burger Time Intellevision 1982
Growing up, we didn’t have an Atari, we had Intellivisions. They weren’t as cool, but they did have a keypad on the controller, and a circular directional pad, like an iPod original. We also had a cool game, called Burger Time. Growing up fat, this was a boon for me, playing video games, while making my favorite food? Sign me the fuck up! Honestly, I’d play until I got the biggest blisters on my fingers, because the shitty, pez-sized buttons on the side of the controller would wreck your fingers. Still, this game made me a gamer, this game shaped my life. Earlier this year, Darrell and I went to Dorky’s Arcade in Tacoma, and in the back, behind the food and beer counter, they have an old Burger Time machine. I can’t remember a time that I’ve been happier as I was playing that old machine.