Overly over-analyzing Horror #1: Child’s Play 3

(This is just for fun.)

Now don’t get me wrong I love the Child’s Play Series and will look past the sillier moments as it is about a living doll after all. However sometimes with Movies it’s fun to really dig deep and poke fun at some of the odd choices the film makers made.

So let’s start with Child’s Play 3. I was going to do them in order but I was thinking about this one lately so what the hell. Let’s roll with it.

Child’s Play 3 starts where Child’s Play 2 left off 8 years later in the factory. Looks way more than 8 years though…. 

That’s a lot of cob webs. Looks like it was abandoned for decades.

Then we see…….Chucky’s remains from 8 years ago still left in the same place?

Chucky sitting for 8 years

WTF? Did some worker just goto the Factory after the events of Child’s Player 2 and just peek in the door and say “I’m not cleaning up this mess.”  and just locked the place up for 8 years? So is that worker who got the doll eyes popped in his head in Child’s Play 2 also still in the factory too? Now a Skeleton with doll eyes…. Did they not have a security system in that Factory?

So anyways they decide to use a giant claw to pick Chucky’s remains up. Where the hell did they get this claw? What’s it purpose exactly? Then again this is the Good Guy factory which has open vats of bubbling rubber giving off toxic fumes and they keep all there parts in the factory and build the dolls with automated machines with one supervisor…. So yeah giant moving claw…. Why not I guess….

The Claw

Chucky’s blood is still flowing after 8 years….

Bloody hell

Hello no one is noticing this! The doll is bleeding all over the place! Guess the person who’s operating the crane isn’t bothered by the fact that one of there Good Guy dolls is bleeding? Maybe Kyle was on to something when the cop was asking about Chucky’s nose bleed and she replies “You’ve seen dolls that pee? This one bleeds.” and the Good Guy factory thought it was a test model or maybe the factory also has automated claw picking up and cleaning? LOL! In CP2 there was only one person who supervised the factory anyways as it was pretty much auto ran…. Or the operator is drunk or something. I don’t know…. Moving on….

It’s then ran over the open vat of rubber that hasn’t hardened in 8 years….Uh WTF? Chucky’s blood gets into the rubber and the machine is started….

Blood and Rubber

Then we see a face and hands start to form in a black background. Where is this happening at? Then it just appears to be a face and no sign of the hands that were being formed….

New face

You know in the TV version of Child’s Play 2 they show a chunk of Chucky’s face in the bubbling rubber and then a new face is made and it smiles. Why not just use that for the recap of this film? It would have made more sense. Kinda sorta.

So Chucky is back once again….

We see some meeting where a debate is going on if the Good Guy dolls should go back on the market even though they just cleaned up the damn place and re-opened it for that purpose! What is with these people who run this company?

So the owner is given the first Good Guy doll that was produced after 8 years. Being Chucky of course and we see owners Home which is oddly full of various toys.

Owner of Good Guys factory

Cause you know all owners of Children’s toys have well toys all over there place! So instead of Chucky just killing him or just leaving and not worrying about it.

Decides to mess with the Factory owner by turning his TV off. Hiding his remote and then giving it back to him under the couch and turning on a bunch of toys then spilling a bunch of glass marbles for him to slip on before attacking him with darts.

Bored are we Chucky? He then wacks him with a golf club and tells him not to fuck with the Chuck. Um…. How is he messing with you Chucky? He gave you life…. Again…. Also you could like just transfer your soul into him….No? okay then….

So after strangling the Factory owner with a Yo-Yo. Chucky uses his computer skills to track down Andy. What you didn’t know that a Voodoo serial killer from the 80s had Computer skills too.

Chucks got puter skillz 2
Chucks got puter skillz

Why does the owner of the Good Guy Factory have such a file on Andy? Or did Chucky use his mad Computer skillz to hack into the police computers?

So we cut to Andy going to Military School. I thought Andy and Kyle would have been on the run after the events of Child’s Play 2? I mean Andy’s foster parents and Teacher are dead…. Okay then…. Just sweeping that under the rug I guess….

So anyways we meet a Barber who loves to shave people’s heads and say “Presto your bald!” and

he thinks this counts as bald: That’s not bald! This is bald: 

Chucky fastest mailed item ever

So even though it’s Andy’s first day at Military School. Chucky manages to air, jet, fold space and time mail himself within a day the same day Andy is at this Military School….

Can he breath in the box? I guess it doesn’t matter even though they state in this series the longer he’s in the dolls body the more Human he becomes.

So Chucky realizes he can transfer his soul into a new younger kids body Tyler by telling him his real name because Chucky has a new body. At least Chucky assumes this.

Yet he still chooses to peek in on Andy to say Hi and tell Andy his plans when he could just go and do his soul transfer thing…. Um WTF Chucky? Now you could say that Chucky was going to kill Andy. Well why not do it after transferring his soul into Tyler? Or ninja kill him. Instead of making his goal more difficult by explaining to Andy his plans!

In which instead of Andy stabbing and tearing apart Chucky. Just wacks Chucky into the floor repeatedly. Yes floor will hurt Chucky. Um Andy how is this more effective that the methods you used on Chucky in the past?

So the jerk of the Movie see’s Andy doll smashing and takes Chucky to give to his younger Sister and at night Andy decides to sneak into his room and shank Chucky. Which you’d think Chucky would be gone and transferring his soul but nope. He then decides to scare Andy. Oh that Chucky such a kidder. 

Later on the Military schools splits off into two groups for a paintball match and Chucky replaces all the red paint ammo with real ammo which is impossible.  

Also none of the teams are wearing protective armor!  Anyone who knows anything about paint ball knows you wear protection like face masks….

They also do there war games close to a fair.

De Silva thinks the fair is pretty cool though. Maybe she hasn’t been to many…. Or maybe it’s her form of pillow talk.

Andy takes some time to chill with his would be girl friend and make out.  Um hey Andy! Chucky…. Tyler…. Soul transferring….

Oh it’s okay Chucky isn’t going after Tyler yet.

Instead he is watching Andy make out….  It’s okay Chucky you’ll get some in the sequel….

So later Tyler stabs Chucky 

but only says “Ow” when a blue paint round hits him:

Which the Red team shows up and after shooting the jerk character. It takes 3-4 more live rounds for them to realize they aren’t firing red paint! 

Later Chucky takes Tyler to this Rollercoaster ride called Devils Lair and the swinging blade of the Reaper is real:  and chops off half of Chucky’s face!  

What the hell!   Who designs rides like this? Course this theme park seems to lack Security anyways.

Then again the fair has large fans without safety either. 

Also what is this a 24 hour fair? Earlier the Military team were in bed. When we get to the fair it’s packed. So it has to be pretty late when Chucky and Tyler goto the fair.

Chucky gets his arm shot off while trying to transfer his soul and it doesn’t seem to bother him much. Guess this whole turning Human thing isn’t so bad for him. He just kinda brushes it off.

Chucky doesn’t even know for sure if the soul transferring into another person would work or not. He just assumes new body means he can just tell someone else his real name and can transfer his soul into them. Don’t worry this is brushed under a rug for the next sequel.

Chucky does not approve of me poking fun of his 3rd installment: 

Look even though I had fun with this. I still enjoy Child’s Play 3. It’s the weakest but does have it’s moments.

“Presto ya dead!” -Chucky

-Crow550

If I missed any other silly moment and you’d like to point it out. Let me know in the comments!

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